Ending

Your family comes to visit you on Christmas at the county jail. Since you’ve been in lock-up awaiting trial, you weren’t able to buy your kid the Sock Puppet. So, you surprise them with a handmade gift wrapped lovingly in toilet paper. “A toothbrush?” asks your kid, in the rudest way possible, after unwrapping it. […]

Published! You are now $8 wealthier. THE END

All babies now have cold tootsies. THE END

“Not now, I’m drunk,” Ernest ouijas. THE END

“Everyone harbors wolfsbanes,” you shrewdly anagram. THE END

“Cute maternity dress!” She smiles. THE END

You purchase her Pokemon card collection.  THE END

You purchase her Air Jordans 1s.  THE END

They’re surprisingly delicious. THE END

“I love non-tragic babies!” you exclaim.  THE END