Author: adventuresnack_6x0xpc

You Are Rich and Scam-Proof

When the tavern closes, your party splashes out on the “heroes of legend” room at the inn. On your goose feather pillows are tiny pigeon pies with baby pigeons inside. An elven masseuse comes in to relax all your tense shoulders after a long day performing morally dubious tasks. You leave your armor outside the […]

You Eke Out a Moderately Legendary Living

When the bar closes, you head upstairs to your room for the night. You booked the “economy adventurers” suite. The beds are soft wood planks with loose feathers for pillows. The suite comes with a jar of “quest juice” that tastes like water with bits of jam scooped into it. (Not stirred.) There’s a rat […]

You Got Scammed, But You’re Pure of Heart

When the bar closes, your party sneaks into a horse stable for the night. It was a hard day of adventuring with no gold to show for it. You got conned, hoodwinked, and outright bamboozled, but that’s because you’re all trusting souls who believe in the best of humanity. No amount of gold will ever […]

A Not-So-Open House

You go to an open houseFor a brick hut on the lake.You bring the carrot basket.You smile so much it aches. The owner looks you over.She gives you a mean scowl.To get this home you’ll needA letter from an owl. Some owls eat little rabbits!This task could end in gore.You say to her, quite boldly:_______________ […]

You Meet a Hungry Owl

You find the Great Owl’s home tree.You nervously declare,“I need written letterTo buy a house ’round there.” The Great Owl leaves his tree knot.Ink quill in his beak…He drops the quill and swoops down!The rest of this is bleak. I leave you a small comfort.The Great Owl got an itch.His next meal was none otherThan […]

Wilderness War One

You find an empty lake houseIn the middle of the night.When the owners returnYou declare squatter’s rights. The snake patrol slithers in.You smack them with a pan!The mayor’s in a panic.(That was his only plan.) You tell the owners, “fluff off.”Their home belongs to you.Word travels of your conquest.More critters want in, too. The lake […]

Your New Landlord is a Bird

It’s time to leave the lake town.Amongst the war and strife.You pack some carrot muffinsAnd exit with your life. Gophers are in your old hole.The lake town is a mess.For a cute little bunnyYour life has so much stress! You move into a bird’s nest.Your landlord is okay.But when you ask for repairs,He squawks and […]

You’re a Rabbit Revolutionary

A forest revolutionConsumes the hare lake town.The rabbits who aren’t eatenAre driven underground. “They totally deserved it,”You tell the forest beasts.You split the town’s resources.Give everyone a piece. There is a peaceful winter,Then a less peaceful spring.That’s when the rabbits returnedFor a violent uprising. These animals once frolicked.Now they battle for land.It’s something human beingsCould […]

You Take a “Principled” Stand

You leave your cozy brick homeThis chaos is a cancer.“Stop this now,” you scream out.“Violence is no answer!” “I have a question, bunny,”Says a top-hatted frog,“Uh, what about the violence“Their land’s already caused?” “My frog swamp is forgotten.The beaver huts were razed.There’s every reason for usTo set this town ablaze.” “This rioting is scary,”You cry […]

Let the Shaming Commence

It’s time to end injustice!You make a protest sign.Head to the rabbit town hall.You’re gonna blow some minds. You tell the rabbit mayor,Who wears a silky sash,Not to expand the town more.Frankly, their plan is trash! The mayor says to calm down.He’ll talk amongst his tribe.He sticks his fuzzy paw out.“May I please have a […]