“You just revealed that you were looking to serve old coffee to a customer,” Stanley recalls, “and I can file paperwork that can lead to an order for you to shut down this restaurant.” You groan. “Well hold on!” you interrupt. “You came in dressed very realistically as a Grim Reaper, so I wasn’t sure […]
You head to the clean coffee pots before asking “Well, do you want it regular or decaf?” Stanley slams his fist down. “Decaf. I’m over 30 years old and any caffeine at this point would prevent me from sleeping and that would ruin my tomorrow.” “I’m also aware of the dangers of caffeine,” you say, […]
You head to the fridge and pull out your batter for making flapjacks and ladle on about 5 cups of batter that spread and begin to cook on the griddle. The batter bubbles as the first sides cook through and you flip them over, revealing their beautiful golden brown sides. After another minute or so, […]
You gasp audibly at the impudence of the scion of Death. “I run a quality restaurant,” you say. “Well, there are plenty of places that don’t honor their breakfast with real syrup.” “And I’m not one of those,” you say, pulling out a brown plastic jug of real Michigan maple syrup. “It costs more, but […]
You go back to the big stovetop and drizzle some oil that begins sizzling and a handful of grated potatoes, spreading the thin layer across in a large circle. The potatoes begin to crisp up, turning golden and then brown before you flip them over with your spatulas, maintaining their shape and executing a perfect […]
They nod their head confidently. “The hash browns were pretty good,” they say. “I mean personally I like them with toppings but I didn’t want to be too presumptuous,” you add. “That’s reasonable,” replies the Grim Reaper. They finish their plate and get up from the booth. “When I return, I will get the hashbrowns […]
You dramatically stand up at your desk, hitting your head against a shelf of chlorine tablet buckets. After adjusting yourself, you make a bold statement. “I think I’ve solved your case, miss,” you proclaim. “You know where my boyfriend is? I mean, my boy space friend is?” she catches herself. “Absolutely. After taking a few […]
You’re about to crack this case wide open. “Your boy space friend is a clone,” you declare. “But not just any clone. What kind of clone can travel through time? Or put a bomb in my brain? Or get a dog to eat ants? Isn’t it obvious?” “He’s an alien ghost clone,” she breathlessly exclaims. […]
You’re about to crack this case wide open. “Your boy space friend is a member of the Illuminati,” you declare. “He’s not lost. He doesn’t want to be found, because he’s been using time travel to alter world events since ancient times, by which I mean the 1970s. But what the Illuminati don’t know is […]
You’re about to crack this case wide open. “Your boy space friend is stuck in limbo,” you declare. “By traveling through time, you two have opened up wormholes to other dimensions previously unknown to humankind. Religions may call it ‘limbo,’ but it’s more of a multiversal void. A world where, instead of trees and dogs […]
