You suck down the creature’s bright orange insides. As you slowly perform the breaststroke, you make sure to breathe in those helpful air pockets. Eventually, you claw your way to freedom. However, you are insanely drunk. The alcohol concentration on this goo cube is unfathomable, even in a world where tentacled eyeball creatures try to […]
You inhale the monster’s tasty glop, slowly performing the breaststroke as you do. However, you forget to inhale any of those all-important air pockets. You just drink, and get dizzy, and drink, and throw up devil horns, and drink, and lose consciousness, and, well, uhhh… The next year, a bronze statue of you is erected […]
You believe the curse of the milk snake rendered your father unable to write coherently so you decide to wing it. You ride Tyrannosaurus further into the city, until you reach the sewer where a large sewage wave whips by and rips the sled from Tyrannosaurus. “Nooooo!” you scream out as the work you and […]
You squint at the instructions. Pa appears to be saying to head to “5almon Street Market,” and that is a “5.” It’s the name of a large 2 story building that seems to be carved from polished stone. You ride Tyrannosaurus in through the wooden front doors of 5almon Street Market, where a man made […]
You squint at the instructions. Pa appears to be saying to head to “Falmon Street market,” and that is an “F.” It is just to the right of where you’re riding. There on Falmon Street is the farmer’s market, with more farmers than you could’ve possibly imagined, and then some. There are farmers smaller than […]
You squint at the instructions. Pa appears to be saying to head to “Salmon Street market,” and that is an “S.” You ask a local street guide where to find the famous market at Salmon Street. She looks you over once or twice as you sit atop your horse. “The Salmon Street market is only […]
Thinking quickly, you grab your Nintendo Switch – your one, true friend – before it flies into the air. “I’m not being sucked into a magical world of reading without Lego The Incredibles,” you state out loud to no one as you fly head first towards the portal! Click here to continue your journey.
You fight the enchanted winds with all your PE strength. All your most cherished possessions blow all around you: your “Soccer is Cool” hoodie, the poster of Selena Gomez’ character from Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation, a YouTube Creator Award. Slowly, you power your way through the wind to the front door of your bedroom […]
You’re swept off your feet and fall head first into the spinning vortex! Intuitively, you know the fewer dumb school books you’ve read, the stronger the stupid portal becomes. You can imagine your English teacher Mrs. Pettysnicker laughing her ass off about this in the teacher’s lounge. You fall through the cosmic book tunnel. Books […]
You try to quietly walk away, but the boy hears your feet rustling against some twigs. “Are you here to pay your respects to Old Dan and Little Ann?” the boy sweetly asks. Caught off guard, you nod your head “yes.” “So, what would you like to say about my wonderful dogs? What stories about […]
