No loser robot on a shitty asteroid for jerks is gonna tell you “no.” This android should be begging to buy you beer. Soon, it will! You pull out your blaster. “Enough chit chat. Time for zip zap. Go inside and buy me a 6-pack of Earth Beer or I’ll splatter your circuits across the […]
The robot is going to reject your plea for Earth Beer. In front of the 7-Eleven-38W6D4-X, awash in the light of a blue neon sign for “Ice Cold Gorpla Urine,” you get teary eyed. “I didn’t want to put this on you, errand bot, but I guess I have no choice. You see, I have […]
You step outside the house and open the Airbnb app. There’s an area where you can send messages to your host. “Hey Zander?” you type. “Welcome to the desert,” he replies quickly. “So, I’m freaking out a bit.” “Is the hot tub not working properly? The controls are actually in the house.” “No, it’s the […]
You were fully prepared to encounter a ghost hot dog eating contest in your rental home. On every trip, you pack at least three suitcases: one for clothes, one for amenities, and one for ghost capturing equipment. We’re talking spirit traps, proton pack, ecto helmet goggles, long range P. K. E. meter, and most importantly, […]
You were not prepared to encounter a ghost hot dog eating contest in your rental home. There are many useful items in your suitcases, like changes of clothes, a toothbrush, a first aid kit, a pack of Cheesecake Explosion Oreos that’s been in the pantry for months, a Ouiji board, a phone charger, and… That’s […]
You were not prepared to encounter a ghost hot dog eating contest in your rental home. There are a few useful items in your suitcase, like changes of clothes, a toothbrush, sunblock, a hardcover copy of Michelle Obama’s Becoming that you’ve been meaning to read for months, a wooden cross, a phone charger, and… That’s […]
You were not prepared to encounter a ghost hot dog eating contest in your rental home. All you have with you is a phone charger, a laptop, a toothbrush, a ratty Garfield t-shirt, broken wind chimes, and a wind chime repair kit. You’re kicking yourself for leaving your proton pack at home. You tell the […]
You close the door and step around the hot dog eating ghouls. You nearly trip on a relish jar rolling itself from the living room to the kitchen. In the cozy bedroom, you unpack and put on your warm PJs. It’s hard to ignore the dead ESPN7 reporter calling the action on your bed. Tired, […]
In this emergency situation, you decide to do the most helpful thing you can think to do: spending a long time looking around the room and commenting on everything. This glass room was carved out of the entrance hall. The glass brick wall made it look like a real estate office. (Zing!) Where on earth […]
You get up. Nobody’s pinning a wife murder rap on you. Nope, not today. You put on a pair of gloves and leave the glass room, careful not to leave any fingerprints. On your way out, you remember – before you saw Edna dead, you did a bunch of stuff. So you use a cloth […]
