This is how you find yourself at… wait. You were trying to head for the South of France and had visions of sunning yourself along the Côte d’Azur with a sparkling glass of rosé in your hand but is that… a city rising from the water? Drat those ghost pirates, this must be some kind […]
You see a coastline city called “Occlaio” on the map and draw the line towards it. The ship creaks and groans as it sways in the choppy waters to change direction. You let out a sigh of relief and take a moment to look at the map a bit more. You notice it’s particularly dirty, […]
You draw a line directing the ship to the nearest landmass—Puerto Rico—and pour yourself one of the stale, sediment-filled beers that are the only drink onboard. You sip it while you sail, breathing a sigh of relief when you spot land on the horizon. As the ship nears Puerto Rico, a stormfront appears. You are […]
You eye Austria tantalisingly, considering whether the ship could make it to the landlocked country. Deciding it wouldn’t be any stranger than having ghost pirates for a crew, you go for it, marking a red line across the map, stretching from the toy ship to the western tip of the country. A creak emanates from […]
Perhaps a trip to Japan will make up for the lackluster service aboard Yarrrr Cruises. You chart a course for Fukuoka and a chilly fog swallows the ship. Odd. It was sunny just moments ago… You feel queasy and lightheaded, but happily the fog clears and you’re sailing down a torchlit river at night. Along […]
You choose the Florida coast. Before you know it, the pirate ship has gone aground on a beach. After gathering your belongings, you disembark, only to discover that you’re in the middle of a camp. “It took you long enough!” a woman says as she slaps you between the shoulders. “Come, I’ll help you with […]
What is this strange contraption you see before you? It’s as though a comfortable chair has been stretched longer than anyone previously imagined. Surely this is the work of a powerful sorcerer. You decide to see for yourself. You sit down on the comfortable purple padding and rest your feet along the magically unending foot […]
You’ve heard stories of cursed furniture in this cave. But you know what’s not furniture? A pile of gold. Sure, you can sit on it, but not everything you’re able to sit on is furniture. For example, you once sat on your little brother’s head, and even though you teased him by calling him “Chair […]
You could sit on a chair made of gold with proper padding, but you’re a rugged adventurer. Where’s the challenge? Where’s the risk? Sitting on a small, rickety wooden stool wearing insanely heavy armor is a story you’ll tell your grandchildren about. You bend your knees to squat onto the unassuming bit of furniture. It […]
On the floor of the cave, you have three important realizations. One, the dirt is scuffing up your chainmail, but that’s the least important of the three. Two, you’re unable to take off most of your bulky armor lying on the ground. That’s of middle importance. Three, and this one is key, you are unable […]
