You dramatically swivel your chair behind you to face Science Officer Dubbledink.

“Hey, so…” you stammer. “You know how you gave me those super cool intelligence drugs that made me brilliant enough to beat that cyborg chess master a few weeks ago?”

“Mmm hmm,” he responds, folding his muscular forearms in disgust. FYI: Dubbledink is tall, handsome, and beefy as shit. He’s also not much of a talker.

“And remember how you asked whether I stole your entire stash of thinking drugs because I got addicted to them? So I lied and told you we must have drug vermin onboard the ship? But you knew ‘drug vermin’ wasn’t a real thing? So you burst into my quarters and saw me ingesting a bunch of thinking drugs, and when you caught me I flushed the rest into my fecal receptor? Anyway, I need one of those drugs real quick.”


“Okay, sure, but… please?”

“No. If you take too many, they’ll poison you. Like that,” Dubbledink explains, pointing to the viewscreen.

“Wait, are you saying President Lightly’s been poisoned?”

“Yeah. It would explain the foam coming out of his mouth, and why he’s pressing the ‘X’ button. That’s the medical emergency symbol on Aargel.”

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