How do you attract Bigfoot, a hairy male who makes easy money? You’ve got a solid hunch.

At your laptop, you find a blurry “Bigfoot” photo on Google Image. Then you open it in Photoshop and add a blurry bow to the top of the head, blurry red lipstick, and two enormous blurry breasts. Though no one’s ever claimed to spot a “Lady Bigfoot” in the wild, you marvel to yourself about how this must be exactly what she looks like.

You text the photo to your landlord, along with this message: “Do you know her? She showed up at my place just now.”

Within minutes, there’s a knock on the door.

Answer the door…

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