The world is at stake. You can’t leave everything to chance. Luckily, you anticipated this Mr. Bucket match, as Rufus posts pictures of himself on social media playing games like Candy Land and Hi Ho! Cherry-O. Unironically, and no, not for a podcast. Your tech expert Omicron, who just submitted the paperwork for a name […]
“Your stretching looked rather labored,” Rufus chides. “Zumba changed my life. It can change yours, too… if there’s a world left to Zumba in.” You smile, breathing a silent sigh of relief. The game is as good as won. Cheaters always win. Continue…
A crowd has gathered to watch what promises to be a uniquely insipid contest between two grown adults. Money freely changes hands between the onlookers as Rufus switches Mr. Bucket on. The game begins! You can hear Mr. Bucket’s gears churn as the bug-eyed toy clunks along the floor. In a flash, you somersault halfway […]
Triumphantly, you raise Mr. Bucket for all to see. The crowd vigorously golf claps for you! Rufus honorably takes out his remote missile detonator and hands it to you. You won the bet, and Rufus is nothing if not an honest man. After admitting defeat, he immediately instructs his goons to kill you and retrieve […]
It’s a brutal match. Rufus knocks out one of your teeth. You elbow check him in the throat, then judo flip him into the hardwood, just like preschoolers frequently do when playing Mr. Bucket. But Rufus’ incredible skill and stamina at this lame-ass game cannot be denied. Triumphantly, he raises Mr. Bucket for all to […]
“Goons, inspect his shovel,” Rufus commands. The jig is up. You point the shovel at Rufus and let out a stream of red plastic balls. They bounce comically off his suit jacket. He laughs as the muscular goons grab your arms and lift you into the air. “What a pity,” Rufus chides. “But I don’t […]
