Your Sword is Long and Impractical
Slay a beast with an unwieldable weapon.
Slay a beast with an unwieldable weapon.
You tighten your grip around Killfinger’s handle. This hippogriff is about to get nine feet of cold metal through its hot bird-slash-horse intestines. It takes all your strength to heroically raise the elongated sword into the air, then you push the sword downward toward the beast. The heavy blade falls slowly and painfully, giving the […]
You tighten your grip around Killfinger’s handle. This hippogriff is about to get nine feet of cold metal through its hot bird-slash-horse intestines. It takes all your strength to heroically raise the elongated sword into the air. Killfinger wobbles uneasily in your hands, like a wizard lightweight in a tavern. The blade catches the sun, […]
You tighten your grip around Killfinger’s handle. This hippogriff is about to get nine feet of cold piercing metal through its hot bird-slash-horse intestines. You attempt to raise the blade… but… you’re not strong enough. Your arm muscles were aching just dragging this bad boy. The bladesmith warned you it was too heavy. Why didn’t […]
Maybe the hippogriff only looks crazed. You’re not an expert on hippogriff biology. They might froth at the mouth when they’re extremely happy… or horny…? You hold up Killfinger with one trembling hand, then outstretch the other toward the creature. It slowly and cautiously stretches out its neck, its beak inches from your hand. The […]
Now that your blade is half as long and weighs half as much, you can actually sorta hold it. While the hippogriff is distracted stomping on what was, for a whole hour, your most valuable possession in the whole world, you plunge the broken Killfinger into the back of the hippogriff’s neck. The beast stumbles […]
What good is a cool sword if you’re too dead to enjoy it? You drop Killfinger and quickly run from the hippogriff. The creature doesn’t give chase. Truthfully, you never imagined fighting a battle with Killfinger. You pictured it more as a statement piece for your living room. But now that you think about it, […]