Tag: Story046

Pick the seat that won’t kick your butt.

What is this strange contraption you see before you? It’s as though a comfortable chair has been stretched longer than anyone previously imagined. Surely this is the work of a powerful sorcerer. You decide to see for yourself.   You sit down on the comfortable purple padding and rest your feet along the magically unending foot […]

You’ve heard stories of cursed furniture in this cave. But you know what’s not furniture? A pile of gold. Sure, you can sit on it, but not everything you’re able to sit on is furniture. For example, you once sat on your little brother’s head, and even though you teased him by calling him “Chair […]

You could sit on a chair made of gold with proper padding, but you’re a rugged adventurer. Where’s the challenge? Where’s the risk? Sitting on a small, rickety wooden stool wearing insanely heavy armor is a story you’ll tell your grandchildren about. You bend your knees to squat onto the unassuming bit of furniture. It […]

On the floor of the cave, you have three important realizations. One, the dirt is scuffing up your chainmail, but that’s the least important of the three. Two, you’re unable to take off most of your bulky armor lying on the ground. That’s of middle importance. Three, and this one is key, you are unable […]

As a knight from the Kingdom of Dankmore, you’ve always resented the fact that only the king gets a nice chair. The king never goes on quests, slays dragons, or jousts, all activities with the potential to destroy your body. Yet he gets to sit all day on the big soft chair? He gets to […]