Tag: Story035

Will he turn evil or get shredded abs?

You agree to train Stellar Artois to become a legendary space wizard. “What would you like to focus on?” you ask the eager trainee with a demonic twinkle in his eye. “I want to focus on looking cool,” he explains. “Teach me to do more rad shit.” So you teach Stellar the ancient art of […]

You agree to train Stellar Artois, but you’re not sure what to focus on. “One second,” you tell Stellar, putting up one finger to emphasize the idea of “one.” Then you head over to the cosmic craps table. It never struck you as odd that StarPumpers was both a gym and casino. After all, what […]

You agree to train Stellar Artois. Immediately, you put Stellar through an intense training to make him less inclined towards violence, so he’ll be a kindly space wizard. The two of you meditate on a hover mountain. You supervise as he writes individual “just wanted to check in with you” texts to all his friends […]

You agree to train Stellar Artois. Immediately, you put Stellar through an intense training to grow his space wizard powers. Stellar learns to change a room to other colors besides blood red, like hot pink and calming lavender. You show him how to set useful things on fire, like fraudulent bookkeeping and wanted posters for […]

You agree to train Stellar Artois. Immediately, you put Stellar through an intense fitness regime, which includes crunches (crushing robots with his bare hands), burpees (injecting him with intelligent “burpee” microbes that work out his intestines while he sleeps), and push-ups (using his arms to lift his body into the air). After a few months, […]

“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “We’re not allowed to train evil space wizards like yourself. Store policy.” “Who says I’m evil?” Stellar exclaims. “Because of how I look? This scar is from when I valiantly defended a village of Kribaabo orphans during The Great Battlebot Wars. My red eye is genetic, and black cloaks are slimming.” […]