Tag: Story020

Please delete old items from your universe.

You have selected Lay’s Classic potato chips for deletion from your Godbox. Lay’s potato chips were introduced in 1931 by H. W. Lay. He sold them out of the back of his Model A Ford during the Great Depression. Lay turned this humble operation into a national brand. It was a true American success story, […]

You have selected Stonehenge for deletion from your Godbox. Stonehenge was a bunch of rocks that lied around England for awhile. They were placed there kind of haphazardly in prehistoric times. You know what would’ve been fun? If there were little drawings on the rocks. Seems like a missed opportunity. Maybe they could’ve chiseled a […]

You have selected the concept of third cousins for deletion from your Godbox. A first cousin is the child of your aunt or uncle. A second cousin is the child of a parent’s first cousin. After that, there are no other types of cousins. Since you deleted third cousins, the entire expanded cousin hierarchy crumbled […]

You have selected inactive volcanoes for deletion from your Godbox. Inactive volcanoes were volcanoes that hadn’t erupted for thousands of years, and would’ve likely never erupted in the future. Not enough magma to be active volcanoes, but too weird to hang with the mountains clique, inactive volcanoes were geological outcasts. They shopped at Not-Hot Topic […]

You have selected “Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down for deletion from your Godbox. “Kryptonite” was a 1999 hit single by the band 3 Doors Down. It inexplicably hit #3 on the Billboard Top 100, and painfully topped the Mainstream Top 40 for five unbearable weeks. The song was written by the band’s vocalist Brad Arnold […]

You have selected Pluto for deletion from your Godbox. Pluto was an icy dwarf planet which orbited the sun. It had seen better days. At the height of its fame, Pluto was the “little planet buddy” of the ice giants Neptune and Uranus. When Jupiter talked shit about Neptune, Pluto was the first to get […]

You have selected Balthasar for deletion from your Godbox. Balthasar was an ancient tree that produced over 300 pounds of oxygen each year and absorbed 56 pounds of carbon per year. This made Balthasar a heavy hitter in the fight against climate change. However, Balthasar was absolutely filthy. Its roots were covered in dirt. Its […]

GODBOX You have freed up space in your Godbox. You will be able to continue storing and accessing your universe, until we pester you again with another one of these emails. Thank you for continuing to not pay us a monthly fee. Remember, it’s against our terms and conditions if you alter the amount of […]