Tag: Story012

Navigate a sticky situation as captain of the Starship Hiyabuddie.

You dramatically tap a few buttons on the right arm of your swivel chair. “Medical Officer Bennigans. Can you beam down into President Lightly’s office and offer up some quick plastic surgery? It’s really hard to look at a face with a corkscrew nose that’s spewing ink, y’know?” Science Officer Dubbledink casually whispers in your […]

You dramatically swivel your chair behind you to face Laser Cannon Operator Ripz. “Laser Cannon Operator Ripz,” you say, getting the attention of Laser Cannon Operator Ripz. “Do we still have deadly laser weapons on-board this ship designated for peaceful missions of diplomacy?” “Yesthhhhh captain,” hisses Ripz the snake mutant in a badass leather jacket. […]

You dramatically swivel your chair behind you to face Science Officer Dubbledink. “Hey, so…” you stammer. “You know how you gave me those super cool intelligence drugs that made me brilliant enough to beat that cyborg chess master a few weeks ago?” “Mmm hmm,” he responds, folding his muscular forearms in disgust. FYI: Dubbledink is […]

You dramatically swivel your chair to the left, where HP-8720 is stationed. The clunky, boxy robot is bleeping and bouncing around like an idiot. “Pull yourself together, HP-8720,” you command. The robot goes still in response. “I need a translation on that slime. Is President Lightly trying to say something to us by drooling in […]

You dramatically lean forward in your big swivel chair. The vomit collects in your throat as you stare directly into President Lightly’s pulsating orange eyes, the neon green veins on his forehead twisting and spewing fluid. “Mr. President,” you state. “Or is it Mrs. President? Madam President? Do you Baargellians have a binary gender construct? […]

You dramatically swivel your chair to the right, where Navigator Valezia is stationed. “Screw this. NAP can send some other suckers to this deadly sector. Navigator, take us out of here – warp speed,” you command. Navigator Valezia still has her face buried in her trash receptacle, vomiting profusely. She gives you the “one second” […]