Discover a Genie

You make your way through the enchanted Cave of Synonym for Wonders. Ancient gold treasures fill the underground chamber, but you know not to touch them. Their purpose is to trick the greedy and the stupid. It’s the lamp you’re after.

You spot it. A gold lamp, the cherry on top of a gold coin sundae. You pick it up and rub the side with your dirty pauper’s hands. It begins to shake and sparkle. Purple smoke pours out the spout. Overall, a neat effect!

The smoke cloud transforms into the genie of the lamp! He’s gigantic, bright purple, has a thick mustache, and is legally distinct from other genies you may have previously encountered.

“I am the genie of the lamp,” he bellows. “You have three wishes.”

“I wish to play mini-roleplaying games in my email. Lighthearted choosable path adventures that are perfect for a lunch break,” you wish.

“In order to grant you that wish, you also need to wish for computers and the internet to exist in what I’m guessing is… the 15th century?” the Genie wondered aloud. You agree.

“Very well. Your wish is my command. Enjoy the very best of computers and the internet: Adventure Snack, 14.4k modems, LiveJournal, and alert boxes. Thousands upon thousands of alert boxes!”

You immediately sign up for Adventure Snack‘s free beta, because that’s the best choice an adventurer can make.