“I’ve gotta take a squat over the shit kettle,” you tell Omarious with sophisticated grace, as you pocket the sunshard. You hurriedly make your way over to meet Marjorie, who has steam coming out of her ears. (Upon closer inspection, that’s just smoke coming off her burning hands.) You quickly come clean to Marjorie, admitting […]
There’s no weaseling out of this jam. You decide to unleash the power of the sunshard! Remembering a little spellcraft you learned in college, you hold the sunshard into the air while repeating the words, “Dharmas e gregga, jenna elfmanna…” Everything disappears in a flash of yellow light. Marjorie, Omarious, Wands, the caricature of Tony […]
“This woman is trying to kill me for absolutely no reason!” you breathlessly tell Omarious. “Oh yeah?” Omarious sympathises. “Happens to me all the time. I’ll take care of it.” Omarious stands between you and Marjorie. She reaches over his shoulder to try and grab you, but you slink back. Omarious pushes Marjorie backwards. “This […]
You pocket the sunshard and bolt for the back exit. Marjorie is hot on your trail. You’re about to touch the metal back door, which leads to a lovely little alley perfect for escaping those you’ve wronged, but Marjorie throws a fireball at it! Now it’s glowing bright red. You turn around. Marjorie grabs you […]
This is a restaurant where pizza is eaten. As a floating pizza, you know you’re not safe here. You go for the handle on the glass door, but the teen blocks the handle with a takeout box. “Nuh uh,” the teen taunts, filming you with his other hand. “I’m gonna make a ton of videos […]
This teen wants a show, so damn it, you’re gonna give him one. You zoom through the dining room, leaning from left to right, balancing your turns. You fly past the framed black and white stock photo of two children holding hands. You do a loop-de-loop in the air, narrowly avoiding a ceiling fan. In […]
This is a restaurant where pizza is eaten. As a floating pizza, you know you’re not safe here. You go for the handle on the glass door. The teen looks up from his phone and tries to stop you, but you float a hot pepperoni at his eyeball. “Ahhh! My supple, young eye!” shouts the […]
You float over to the chef near the kitchen door. Clearly, she needs comfort in this stressful time. When you get near her, she snaps up to her hands and knees. The chef crawls into a corner and whips out a pizza cutter from her apron. “Stay back, pizza ghost,” she says, jabbing the cutter […]
You walk over to the balding police officer with a confident stride. “I know who did a murder here!” you state, loudly. “Oh really? You do? That would be super helpful to know,” he says. Lana, Denise, Spike, and Tiki Dan all perk up. “It was Tiki Steve!” you accuse. “As the bartender, he had […]
You walk over to the balding police officer with a confident stride. “I know who did a murder here!” you state, loudly. “Oh really? You do? That would be super helpful to know,” he says. Lana, Denise, Spike, and Tiki Dan all perk up. “The prize tonight for the Hawaiian shirt competition was a gift […]
