You get up. Nobody’s pinning a wife murder rap on you. Nope, not today. On an end table in the room is Edna’s leather address book. This will be your key to salvation. Your insurance policy. If the cops do suspect you, all you have to do is live out the next day as if […]
Come on, you can’t just leave. Your wife’s been murdered! What would poor Edna have done if she discovered your lifeless corpse? Laugh and jump for joy at the thought of inheriting your lucrative bookie racket? Yes, absolutely, but before that, maybe something helpful. Maybe. Call the police. Find the murder weapon.
You look around for the murder weapon. After all, murderers love leaving evidence just lying around. Solving this case will be a snap. The trail of blood pools near Edna’s shoulder, near a shiny metal cuticle cutter with a sharp slicing edge. The mother of pearl handle is covered in blood. It’s a murder weapon […]
There’s been a murder, so it’s time to give the cops a ring. Or as they were known in the 1940s, the Dum-Dum Patrol. You pick up the receiver in the room and dial. “Hello? I want to report a murder,” you tell the police operator. “Who is this calling?” the operator asks. Your mouth […]
Time to take on King Monkey Guy, which is what everyone calls King Kong in this universe. The word is that he doesn’t like the nickname, but it stuck. You’re not afraid of some shit-tossing gorilla. After all, wasn’t his heyday like, 90 years ago? You fearlessly run up to King Kong and go ape […]
Time to take on The Killa Zilla, which is Godzilla’s most popular nickname in this universe. It’s what everyone uses. The rhyme probably helps. You’re not afraid of a little fire breath. Experience has taught you that your skin is flame retardant. Well, mostly. You strut on over to Godzilla and let him have it! […]
You end the battle with your signature curb stomp – and with that, both monsters are out cold. Well done! The question of who’s better, Godzilla or King Kong, has finally been answered. It’s you, the Greatest of All Kaiju. There’s gonna be, like, a thousand movies about you. It’s time for your well-earned victory […]
You get knocked onto your gigantic butt, crashing into a souvenir shop called I Tolerate New York. Breathing heavily, you try to use the scaffolding to hoist yourself back up, but you get dizzy and pass out. That monster was way tougher than he looked. The next week or so is kind of a blur. […]
You continue moving forward. Incredibly, there’s a door in front of you. It looks just like the wooden one at the beginning of the maze. You jiggle the handle, but it’s locked. The MANotaur spots you from the end of the hallway. His bulbous human has grown like a pimple on his big bull body. […]
Something catches your eye to the right. You walk down the hallway, which ends with a beautiful marble sculpture. It’s the head of Medusa hanging on the wall. It has intricately carved facial features and snake hair. “Finally, a little class in this horrible place!” you exclaim to yourself. When the snake hair begins vibrating, […]
