Your escape pod blasts away from the Hiyabuddie. Through a small porthole window, you can see the Zibblins overwhelm your ship, until the angle changes and they look invisible to you again. Wow, those guys really are tricky. Not your problem anymore though. On Flee TV, they’re playing a movie called Bad Captain, about a […]
You lean forward in your captain’s chair and take a deep breath. Hopefully, warp speed won’t make you full-on sick, just a little sweaty. And sweats can be blamed on the giant stowaway insectoid who lives in the temperature control room. He likes it toasty and he can’t be stopped. “Navigator, utilize warp speed,” you […]
The ship suddenly stops. No enemy fighters. The Hiyabuddie is light years out of harm’s way. You feel queasy. You’re breathing hard. This is not going to end well. You get up to use the captain’s toilet, then trip on a strip of emergency floor lights. As you hit the ground, cosmic corn chowder spreads […]
The ship suddenly stops. No enemy fighters. The Hiyabuddie is light years out of harm’s way. Your face is pale. Your uniform has visible pit stains. While the crew cheers their escape, you run to the captain’s toilet and… well, it’s not pretty. Medical Officer Bennigans hears your retching and asks if you’re “okay in […]
The ship suddenly stops. No enemy fighters. The Hiyabuddie is light years out of harm’s way. You feel lightheaded and fatigued, but otherwise okay for now. So you’re excited to continue on as captain. After all, every adventure, every jump to warp speed, is yet another high stakes roll of the dice, where personal humiliation […]
“Laser Cannon Operator Ripz,” you say, pointing to Ripz, the Laser Cannon Operator. “Keep operating the Laser Cannon, Ripz.” The snake-headed mutant shakes his head at you. “I can’t hit the Zibblins, captain. They’re not even thhhhhree dimensional. It’thhh unfair!” Ripz hisses. “Well, keep firing until you do hit them!” You sit in your captain’s […]
The world is at stake. You can’t leave everything to chance. Luckily, you anticipated this Mr. Bucket match, as Rufus posts pictures of himself on social media playing games like Candy Land and Hi Ho! Cherry-O. Unironically, and no, not for a podcast. Your tech expert Omicron, who just submitted the paperwork for a name […]
“Your stretching looked rather labored,” Rufus chides. “Zumba changed my life. It can change yours, too… if there’s a world left to Zumba in.” You smile, breathing a silent sigh of relief. The game is as good as won. Cheaters always win. Continue…
A crowd has gathered to watch what promises to be a uniquely insipid contest between two grown adults. Money freely changes hands between the onlookers as Rufus switches Mr. Bucket on. The game begins! You can hear Mr. Bucket’s gears churn as the bug-eyed toy clunks along the floor. In a flash, you somersault halfway […]
Triumphantly, you raise Mr. Bucket for all to see. The crowd vigorously golf claps for you! Rufus honorably takes out his remote missile detonator and hands it to you. You won the bet, and Rufus is nothing if not an honest man. After admitting defeat, he immediately instructs his goons to kill you and retrieve […]
