You could sit on a chair made of gold with proper padding, but you’re a rugged adventurer. Where’s the challenge? Where’s the risk? Sitting on a small, rickety wooden stool wearing insanely heavy armor is a story you’ll tell your grandchildren about.
You bend your knees to squat onto the unassuming bit of furniture. It immediately collapses underneath your weight. The wooden legs roll away. Splinters fly through the air! You reach beneath you and pull out the base of the stool, which shows the face of a dead furniture monster. Its eyes are rolled back. A tongue sticks out of its sharp-toothed mouth.
You have slain the beast! From this day forth, rogue chairs across the land will fear and scorn you.
Or: If you want to know what happens to you after this moment, click here.