As a knight from the Kingdom of Dankmore, you’ve always resented the fact that only the king gets a nice chair. The king never goes on quests, slays dragons, or jousts, all activities with the potential to destroy your body. Yet he gets to sit all day on the big soft chair? He gets to enjoy all that luxurious lumbar support?

You sit yourself down on the golden chair with ornate patterns and red velvet backing. The armrests support your weary limbs. You put your aching feet onto the accompanying ottomon. Ahh, this is the life. You could get used to this. And you would have, if the bottom cushion didn’t zip open to reveal a sharp toothed mouth, which chewed you up slowly and painfully, armor and flesh.

You lived your life to its fullest by sitting in the coolest chair! What a way to go. And you lived your life dangerously, picking the chair most likely to be evil based on vibes.

THE END