You cautiously make your way to the middle of the ring, sizing up the bear. Big Honker saunters over to you, then stands on his hind legs. Now that Big Honker’s in position, it’s time to strike. You slide under the bear’s open legs, climb up the wobbly ring post, and fall onto the bear’s upper back.

Normally, you’d pretend to choke your opponent out with your arm, but your urge to dominate this powerful beast cannot be contained. You start actually pinching the bear’s neck, causing Big Honker to growl and stampede around the ring like crazy. You hold on tight as the entire rickety ring collapses around you both!

The match was officially called a draw. When a cell phone video is released, you become the most hated wrestler on the indie scene. On Twitter, you’re called an animal abusing monster, a dangerous son of a bitch – and all the attention lands you an audition with the WWE! Wow, dreams really do come true!

THE END