You cautiously make your way to the middle of the ring, sizing up the bear. Big Honker saunters over to you, then stands on his hind legs. Now that Big Honker’s in position, it’s time to strike. You slide under the bear’s open legs, climb up the wobbly ring post, and leap onto the bear’s upper back. You pretend to choke the bear out with your arm, and the bear sells for you – or more accurately, for the promise of honey – gradually falling asleep.

After checking the bear’s pulse, the ref hands you the championship belt and raises your hand in victory. The audience cheers! The promoter counts his money behind the creepy shed! Is that where he lives? In this brief, shining moment, you are a hero! Tomorrow you’ll beg the utility company not to shut off your power. But today, you are a superstar.


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