You cautiously make your way to the middle of the ring, sizing up the bear. Big Honker saunters over to you, then stands on his hind legs. Now that Big Honker’s in position, it’s time to strike. You slide under the bear’s open legs, quickly stand and leap onto his back…

So it turns out bears are very tall. Much taller than humans. How are you supposed to jump high enough to get your arm around the bear’s neck? That’s what you’re wondering as the confused and irritated bear slaps you stupid with its giant claws.

You give your followers online a weary thumbs up from the hospital the next day. No, you didn’t win the belt, but you have an incredible story to tell when you’re a weary veteran with a broken body in three years.

THE END