Nope, you’re not wrestling a bear. No way. What you wouldn’t give to be smacked in the face with a steel chair instead!

Remembering a nature documentary about grizzly bears you fell asleep during once, you decide to play dead. You lie in the middle of the ring, hands behind your head. The bear looks confused at first, then lies on top of you. A ref counts to three. Big Honker retains his championship.

The crowd boos your cowardice, but if anyone gives you shit for this later, you’ll just lie and say you turned heel. At first, the promoter wants his $50 back, since you didn’t stick to the script, but then he feels bad for you, on account of the bear crushing your rib cage. Yay money!

THE END