You were not prepared to encounter a ghost hot dog eating contest in your rental home. There are a few useful items in your suitcase, like changes of clothes, a toothbrush, sunblock, a hardcover copy of Michelle Obama’s Becoming that you’ve been meaning to read for months, a wooden cross, a phone charger, and…

That’s when you remember the wooden cross you got from your trip to The Wooden Cross Museum in Cleveland and never unpacked. “Do wooden crosses affect ghosts,” you wonder to yourself, as you unpack the souvenir from your duffel bag. Will it “bust” them?

You point the cross at the ghosts. Most of them ignore you entirely, but two of them notice and roll their eyes at you. They float out the window. Those two were blocking the TV, so now you can watch Amazon Prime before hitting the hay. Bits of hot dog spew onto the screen as you enjoy The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

THE END

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