You were not prepared to encounter a ghost hot dog eating contest in your rental home. All you have with you is a phone charger, a laptop, a toothbrush, a ratty Garfield t-shirt, broken wind chimes, and a wind chime repair kit. You’re kicking yourself for leaving your proton pack at home.

You tell the hot dog pounding poltergeists to “shoo” and “get outta here,” motioning with your hands to scram, but they don’t see or hear you. You throw a ketchup bottle from the fridge out the window, but these are professional eaters. They have no need for condiments.

Finally, you decide to sit on a leather chair and watch the proceedings. Might as well enjoy the show. Some of the ghosts are very good at eating hot dogs! You watch how the dogs get chewed and swallowed inside their translucent bodies. It’s disgusting… but also fascinating. This weekend was supposed to be about self-discovery, and you finally realize it’s time to go back to med school.

THE END