There’s been a murder, so it’s time to give the cops a ring. Or as they were known in the 1940s, the Dum-Dum Patrol. You pick up the receiver in the room and dial.
“Hello? I want to report a murder,” you tell the police operator.
“Who is this calling?” the operator asks.
Your mouth freezes for a bit as a horrifying realization washes over you.
“Uh… hold on. If I tell you who I am, will you promise not to think I did it?” you bargain.
“Who is this?”
“I have made a horrible mistake,” you say out loud as you hang up.
You have incriminated yourself for a murder you didn’t commit! Now you must go on a long, bumbling, remarkably misogynistic journey to find your wife’s actual killer. There is some good news, though. Decades later, a very entertaining podcast will make fun of your efforts.