You get a brilliant idea on how to outsmart the dognapping scum.

“Unfortunately for you, I have a very particular set of hobbies,” you calmly tell the kidnappers over the phone. “One of them baking sourdough bread. The pandemic, am I right? But the other is dog training. You see, I trained my dog to go berserk when I blow this whistle…”

You take the dog whistle out of your front pocket and blow it loudly. On the other end, you hear the instantly recognizable sound of a doberman chewing out of a metal cage and ripping apart three kidnappers. The line goes dead.

In an instant, you’re behind the wheels of your black matte Nissan Titan XD with blood red crosshair symbols on the doors. You turn on a custom-rigged Garmin GPS designed with only one purpose: track the location chip inside your dog. The engine gives off a deep and powerful roar. 

“Nobody messes with me, doggone it,” you say aloud, wondering when you’re finally going to get a reality show.


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