“Are you ready for your last gift?” Jasmine’s mother teases. “It’s from Santa!”

Jasmine excitedly tears the bunsen beaker wrapping paper off the big box. It’s the Science… For Girls!? Laboratory Playset, exactly what she wanted! The kit comes with pink test tubes, a pink microscope, a set of pink rub-on tattoos of butterflies in lab coats, and pink goop that will get everywhere. In that moment, Jasmine realizes that she was right about the cookies, and didn’t need her mom’s permission to do anything anymore.

Jasmine becomes the astonishingly pierced lead singer of the punk group The Eat Shits. Their debut album Dessert Larceny is considered a seminal classic among college radio DJs and pyromaniacs. The band breaks up after Jasmine wins the MacArthur Genius Grant. The Christmas gift she received when she was 5 altered the course of Jasmine’s life forever.

THE END