You have serious reservations about this drink, but your sworn duty is to taste everything offered to the king. In moments like these, you regret not following in your father’s footsteps as a horse dung shoveler.

You sniff the bubbling brew. Floral, fruity, notes of mulch. The royals watch as you spin the wine in King Dankmore’s goblet, then take a sip. Immediately, you detect the bitter and alarming taste of witch acid.

“This is poi–,” you start to speak, but then begin coughing. Not on the poison itself – you’ve ingested so much poison, you’re functionally immune – but because a bit went down the wrong pipe. You find a glass of water, but the water goes down the wrong pipe, too. This happens with a number of liquids: cider, sage water, holy water. Your throat is so uncomfortable.

Not understanding your warning, the king takes a sip of Nigel’s wine. All the Dankmore royals follow suit, but the Moredanks only pretend to drink. Soon, the king and his family become paralyzed. Nigel’s plan worked exactly as intended, and soon the Moredank Kingdom would be overthrown by Dankmore. However, in a bit of good fortune, you properly drink a glass of mulberry gin and your throat feels fine again. Also, it’s maybe the best gin you’ve ever tasted! Real top shelf stuff.


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