The sparks cease and the screen goes completely dark. Your heart beats fast with anticipation as the rollercoaster you designed comes to life before your eyes in the form of a commercial…

A city skyline in the dead of night. There’s a superhero clad in all-black spandex leaping from rooftop to rooftop. The hero quickly stops. He senses trouble. That’s when pair of white gloved hands reach out to squeeze the hero’s sides, causing him to double over with laughter. He coughs up blood, convulses, then passes out. Those gloved hands belong to a creepy, bald old man with a twisted smile and a smiley-face tie. “Coochy-coochy coooo,” he smirks. On-screen logo: THE TICKLER.

Smash cut to a steel rollercoaster. The ride shifts quickly to the left and right. On the train, the riders are strapped into chairs that look like giant butts, squished between two flesh-like plastic sacks. Sounds of rider screams mix with fart sound effects and green gas clouds. “This is the only ride in the Tri-State area that makes it feel like you’re riding between the cheeks of a big ass,” a deep voice narrator states. “You like that, don’t you?”

A teen boy exits the coaster, where a newswoman is waiting for him. “So, what did you think?” she asks. The boy won’t stop screaming. At first, the newswoman smiles, thinking it’s a bit, but she frowns when he keeps going. Two huge dudes put the screaming boy in a straight jacket and throw him in a van marked “Looney Bin.” He peers out the back window bars. NBA all-star and underrated Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Mark Price enters the scene. He stares at the boy and says, “You could’ve been like me, Mark Price. Now you’ll never be like me, Mark Price. Signing off, this is Mark Price.”

THE TICKLER: The Only Ride That Tickles Your Danger Bone

You take off your VR helmet. Magic Scream park executives have already greenlit your ride and that is because you are a genius.

THE END