The sparks cease and the screen goes completely dark. Your heart beats fast with anticipation as the rollercoaster you designed comes to life before your eyes in the form of a commercial…
A city skyline in the dead of night. There’s a superhero clad in all-black spandex leaping from rooftop to rooftop. The hero quickly stops. He senses trouble. That’s when pair of white gloved hands reach out to squeeze the hero’s sides, causing him to double over with laughter. He coughs up blood, convulses, then passes out. Those gloved hands belong to a creepy, bald old man with a twisted smile and a smiley-face tie. “Coochy-coochy coooo,” he smirks. On-screen logo: THE TICKLER.
Smash cut to a steel rollercoaster. The train blasts along the track, performing dives, corkscrews, and a seemingly interminable number of vertical loops. “It’s illegal to build seventeen 360 degree loops in a row. Almost everyone who rides it will die,” a deep voiced narrator states. “We won’t tell if you don’t.”
A teen boy exits the coaster, where a newswoman is waiting for him. “So, what did you think?” she asks. The boy looks down sadly at the enormous wet spot on his crotch. Tears stream down his face as he takes out a pacifier and sucks it like the little baby he’s become. He looks up. NBA all-star and underrated Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Mark Price enters the scene. He stares at the boy and says, “You could’ve been like me, Mark Price. Now you’ll never be like me, Mark Price. Signing off, this is Mark Price.”
THE TICKLER: The Only Ride That Tickles Your Danger Bone
You take off your VR helmet. Magic Scream park executives have already greenlit your ride and that is because you are a genius.