The sparks cease and the screen goes completely dark. Your heart beats fast with anticipation as the rollercoaster you designed comes to life before your eyes in the form of a commercial…

Villagers in a tiny European town gather their torches and pitchforks. They use a battering ram to break down the wooden doors of a stone castle on a hill. They run into the castle, angrily shouting for blood, but they’re suddenly aghast. In the hallway is a tall, grotesque, ambling monster… wearing shades, jean shorts and a tie-dye t-shirt! The villagers run away as he pukes while throwing up devil horns. On-screen logo: PUKENSTEIN.

Smash cut to a steel rollercoaster. The train slowly makes its way up an incline, then races down the track at mind-numbing speeds! Without warning, the track transitions into a smooth fiberglass tube filled with rushing water. “Building a rollercoaster that turns into a waterslide was a logistical nightmare,” a deep voiced narrator states as the train splashes into a wave pool filled with loose coaster trains. “For riders, it’s a safety NIGHTMARE!”

A teen boy exits the coaster, where a newswoman is waiting for him. “So, what did you think?” she asks. The boy won’t stop screaming. At first, the newswoman smiles, thinking it’s a bit, but she frowns when he keeps going. Two huge dudes put the screaming boy in a straight jacket and throw him in a van marked “Looney Bin.” He peers out the back window bars. The boy’s angry boss enters the scene. “You’re a disgrace to our industry,” the boss scolds, handing him a pink slip. “You’ll never work at another roach-infested orange julius stand at a recently condemned mall again!”

PUKENSTEIN: Technically, This Ride is Pukenstein’s Monster

You take off your VR helmet. Magic Scream park executives have already greenlit your ride and that is because you are a genius.

THE END

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