The sparks cease and the screen goes completely dark. Your heart beats fast with anticipation as the rollercoaster you designed comes to life before your eyes in the form of a commercial…

Thunder cracks! A torrential downpour floods a highway traffic jam. There’s wind, rain, and lightning. A bored commuter sits in traffic in his Ford Pinto. Suddenly, the rain turns into… CG snakes! Snakes slither all over his windshield! They break through the glass with their fangs! The commuter screams in terror. On-screen logo: CYCLONE VIPER.

Smash cut to a steel rollercoaster. The train slowly makes its way up an incline, then races down the track at mind-numbing speeds! Without warning, the track transitions into a smooth fiberglass tube filled with rushing water. “Building a rollercoaster that turns into a waterslide was a logistical nightmare,” a deep voiced narrator states as the train splashes into a wave pool filled with loose coaster trains. “For riders, it’s a safety NIGHTMARE!”

A teen boy exits the coaster, where a newswoman is waiting for him. “So, what did you think?” she asks. The boy looks down sadly at the enormous wet spot on his crotch. Tears stream down his face as he takes out a pacifier and sucks it like the little baby he’s become. He looks up. The boy’s angry boss enters the scene. “You’re a disgrace to our industry,” the boss scolds, handing him a pink slip. “You’ll never work at another roach-infested orange julius stand at a recently condemned mall again!”

CYCLONE VIPER: This Ride is Like Poison… for Your Body

You take off your VR helmet. Magic Scream park executives have already greenlit your ride and that is because you are a genius.

THE END