Suddenly, the realization comes to you that creating life for the sole purpose of advertising a movie, even one that improved considerably by listening to fan outcry, would be a mockery of ethics and is probably illegal.

You turn around and fling the slime-covered popsicle stick into a nearby trash bin. As you walk away from the vat of bubbling sugar sludge, you catch a glimpse of yourself in a Science Mirror. For the first time in a long time, you’re proud of yourself and the choices you’ve made.

In the mirror, you can see something moving behind you. The popsicle stick is growing out of the trash. It’s now 10 feet tall, with a face, arms and legs. You turn around, only to be greeted by its razor sharp teeth and demonic red eyes!

“Pardon me,” the stick says in a smart British accent. “I don’t mean to interrupt your work, but I must ask. Did you throw me in the trash with your failed attempt at animator ooze? If yes, am I now a conscious being? And if yes to that, what should I do with my life?”

You think for a moment, then answer confidently.

“Yes, yes, and I think I can hook you up with a job at Target? My friend is a manager there.”

The 10 foot tall popsicle stick man smiles and mouths the words, “thank you.”


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