You dip your chemically-infused popsicle stick into the vat of bubbling blue sugar sludge. As you dip, you make a horrifying realization. Instead of the key ingredient Tungsten, you used Turbonium, a radioactive element that makes everything it touches hyper extreme. It’s a real element on the periodic table. No need to look it up.

You lift the stick out of the vat. On the stick is a grotesque, twitching mockery of Sonic’s face. The Sonic fandom warned you this would happen, but you didn’t listen. Why didn’t you listen?

“Gotta go…” the mutant Sonic head mutters. “Gotta… go… gotta go… DESTROY HUMANITY!”

The Sonic popsicle blasts out of your hand and hops around on its stick with lightning speed. This monstrosity destroys every piece of equipment in your lab before escaping out the open door.

“Eh, it’s summer. By daytime, the popsicle will melt,” you reason to yourself. There are a few screams down the hall, so you close the door and get back to work on your next living popsicle. Maybe you’ll do Pink Panther next time.

Hey, you created a new form of life! That doesn’t happen everyday. It may be a murderous abomination, but it’s a start.


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