There’s a button on the right handle of your jetpack that says “Juice It!” You hit the button and fly high into the air. Wind in your hair. Bugs in your teeth. Exhilarating!

You push this puppy and take it to the limit. When you level off at 15,000 feet, the control panel plays a little electronic fanfare and the monitor reads, “Congratulations, [NAME]!” There were some personalization options you breezed past before flying. The jetpack also wanted to know your birthday, so it could send you an eCard that says, “Flying High… On Your Big Day!”

The sun is setting. The clouds around you are rich shades of orange and purple. A breathtaking view. It took a lot of money to get here, but when you close your eyes, you are certain you finally achieved inner peace. Like, once you had the money, achieving inner peace was a snap. The money was by far the hardest part. You got the jetpack off Amazon with free shipping.

In the distance, there’s a mountain. It makes you think of all the dumb monks who spend years in isolation, studying and meditating in ancient temples to achieve inner peace. What a bunch of rubes. Your method to inner peace – this jetpack – was way easier.

Have you considered writing a self-help book?


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