There’s a button on the right handle of your jetpack that says “Juice It!” You hit the button and fly upward for a full minute at 60 miles per hour. Which means you’re now flying… how many… feet in the air?

Wait, you have a jetpack now. You don’t need math anymore!

There’s a bit of mud clumped on your shoes from the stupid ground. So you maneuver right above your neighbor’s pristine white Escalade and knock your muddy heels together, sprinkling mud all over the hood, front window, roof, and driver. Your neighbor was just about to get in the car when you rained mud down from the skies. He looks up at you.

“Son of a bitch,” he says, frowning and squinting at you.

“I hate your car!” you yell at him. You suspect he didn’t hear you, but that’s okay. The mud got the point across.

The “Low Kerosine” light blinks on the control pad. You’ll have to land soon. Luckily, there’s nice, soft roof of a shitty car right below you.


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