Time travel is super fun, but it can’t solve every problem. On the other hand, magic can solve every problem. Scrooge will feel the spirit of the holidays when you zap it into him with your ghost magic.

“HOLIDAY FORCE ACTIVATE,” you exclaim, hand outstretched to the heavens!

You levitate off the ground. A circle of green fire burns around you. Tiny angels enter the room and sprinkle you with power snow. Your hands glow sparkling red. When you bring them together, they form an energy ball, which you hurl at Scrooge like lightning.

Direct hit! Scrooge is knocked out cold by the blast. He glows and sparkles for a moment, then…

*  *  *

Scrooge wakes up in a wonderful panic. It’s Christmas! He thanks the heavens for a second chance to live a better, more generous life.

The old man sticks his head out the window and screams about the joy of Christmas, until someone threatens to call the cops. Scrooge spots a young boy on the street below and throws money at him.

“Remarkable boy! Do you know–”

“Damn it,” the boy curses. “Why are you throwing coins at my head, you crazy fuck?”

“Stupendous boy! You know the turkey at the Poulterer’s down the block? The one as big as you? Buy it and tell them to bring it to Bob Crachit’s house!”

“Sorry, weirdo. That turkey was half-eaten last night. The Poulterer says it must’ve been the work of a ghost.”

“Ghosts, eh?” Scrooge smiles. He winks at the sky, assuming you’re watching him. But you’re a long ways away, enjoying Christmas with your family. As is tradition, you are all in 12th century feudal Japan, enjoying the day as ghost samurais, slicing down those who challenge your emperor with your deadly katanas.


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