As you inch your blade closer to Vinny’s throat, your hand trembles a little.

“You FOUL and contemptuous man,” you grunt. “Where the hell is my VCR and DVD combo player?”

“You’re furious,” Vinny empathizes. “But you’ve got it all wrong. I don’t know nothin’. In fact, I know less than nothin’. I know negative information, I swear!”

Scared, Vinny gives you a DVD of Free Guy that he stole from a RedBox Kiosk. You have nothing to play it on, but the good news is the movie was terrible, so you actually dodged a bullet. Why do Ryan Reynolds and Chris Pratt have to star in every movie, you scream to the heavens.

THE END