The waiter trips and stumbles over his untied laces. He crashes to the ground, landing face first in the birthday cake. When a kind waitress later presents your bill, you refuse to pay. The scene of the waiter ruining the cake was traumatizing, you lie, because a birthday clown ruined the cake at your 5th birthday by sitting on it. As you pretend to have a breakdown over the phone with your therapist, the waitress says she’ll “sort it out.” This is the first time you’ve tried this tactic and it worked! You can have free brunches for infinity now.