You blast five letters into the space grid. All the squares instantly light up green! The glow from across the row fuses together into a cosmic S-W-I-R-L. A vortex of five letter W-O-R-D-S opens up and out F-L-I-E-S a S-M-A-L-L A-L-I-E-N C-R-A-F-T.*

On your video screen, there are two blue heads with fishlike scales and one shared eyeball, big enough for both of them to share. You are gobsmacked. Alien life has made contact with you. Your heart is racing.

“YOU ACHIEVED THE COSMIC WORDLE IN ONE GUESS,” the blue aliens speak in unison with four mouths. “YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST BEING IN ALL UNIVERSES. WHAT IS THE SECRET TO YOUR UNPARALLELED GOOD FORTUNE?”

“Hmm,” you think. “Oh, I know. Rich parents!”

The aliens nod. They are impressed by your refreshing honesty.

THE END

* If you make any of these your starting word, and you win, you’re obligated to thank me publicly.