You tell Santa the elves need unlimited bathroom breaks. No more corporate pressure to hold it in until December 26th. They’ve been peeing on the workshop floor into baby bottles, some of which have accidentally been wrapped up as doll accessories!

“Unbelievable,” Santa relents. “This is going to lead to elves taking long, fanciful shits. I know it.”

Santa’s Rage: +25

• If Santa’s Rage is over 100, click here.
• If you want to end negotiations, click here.
• Otherwise, return to the email and make more demands. How many can you get?