You agree to install the system update. You also agree to a bunch of other pop-ups. Terms and conditions? Sure. Clear space? Okaaaay– wait, clear what exactly? A few clicks and the dialogue shows you what it wants to delete. No, you will not delete all your photos of life before The Great Uh-Oh. Painfully, you decide to delete your favorite game, Piggy Match. Yes, matching up those piggies is the best, but it’s taking up nearly half your hard drive space, the game is unplayable without an internet connection, and when it does work, the app gives all your private data to the Chinese government.

The status bar moves quickly. In just 10 minutes, the installation is finished and with plenty of battery to spare. Lady Signal has shined her healing light on you today. In fact, your signal is now so strong that other lost souls using the new Humanity Locator app come to you. They beg you to share your signal, which you do…in exchange for their loyalty and service.

You are now the leader of a post-apocalyptic desert cult. Hundreds look to you for guidance. You tell them it’s time to rebuild what was lost. First priority, build a new Piggy Match. A better Piggy Match.

THE END