“MAN BRAINS TASTE LIKE… NO SWEET… NO SOUR… NO JUICY… NO BITTER… VERY BRAIN-LIKE IN TASTE. THINK TOFU BUT NO TOFU BECAUSE BRAIN. MAN BRAINS DISAPPOINT. ME NO LIKE BRAINS, BUT ME KNOW GOOD BRAINS FROM BAD AND BRAINS AT 8TH AND BLOODWAY BAD. MUCH JUCIER BRAINS COWERING IN FEAR IN CONDE NAST BUILDING.”

After you post your review, you stare at your phone’s screen for a few hours. Finally, a notification pops up. 1 zombie found your review helpful! You’re a bona fide brain critic. A few days later, you launch your newsletter THE FLESH EATER on Substack.

THE END