“MAN BRAINS LIKE LIQUID. MORE SLURPY THAN BITEY. YOU KNOW WHAT BE FUN? GET GLASS CUP AND EAT BRAINS WITH STRAW LIKE MILKSHAKE. ROMANTIC IF SHARE! MAN BRAINS FRUSTRATE ON EVERY LEVEL. NO LIKE TASTE. NO LIKE WAY MAN NOT JUST GIVE BRAINS TO ME. STAY AWAY FROM 8TH AND BLOODWAY IF WANT BRAINS. THESE BRAAAAINS BAAAAAAD!”

After you post your review, you stare at your phone’s screen for a few hours. Finally, a notification pops up. 1 zombie found your review helpful! Good. Now no one has to suffer like you did. You wonder if there are any zombie cooks who deep fry brains. A little sriracha, maybe they’d be okay.

THE END