“Ahh, to hell with it,” you frown. “I’ll just skip lunch for one day. Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?”

As you walk away, stomach growling, the green-haired version of you fades and disappears. The purple mohawked version of you smiles, gives a big “thumbs up,” then falls backwards into a swirling portal. Birthday crisis averted.

Over the next several years, you are very successful. You get promoted to Senior Vice President of whatever it is your company does. You buy a tasteful craftsman style house and raise a beautiful family named “Most Beautiful Family” in Beautiful Family Magazine.

Your stomach gurgles a lot more than it used to, and you have a bit less energy than you once did. Doctors aren’t sure why. It isn’t really a problem, because your job doesn’t require a lot of intense physical energy, like if you became… oh, I don’t know, say, the leader a resistance army against a robot uprising. Yeah, ha ha, like that will ever happen!

(It happens.)

THE END