“Nothing will stop me from enjoying a birthday coupon,” you declare. The clouds part and a ray of sunshine hits your face. “I love discounted sandwiches.”

“THEN I WILL HAVE TO MURDER YOU IN A MORE DIRECT MANNER,” says purple mohawk you robotically, eyes shining bright red. Its jaw drops and a machine gun juts out. You instinctually move your arm over your head.

Ka-zap! Ka-zap! Ka-zap! The green-scalped you turns mohawk you into a pile of scrap metal with one very heavy-looking laser cannon.

“It’s okay me,” says other you. “You distracted yourself long enough for me to kill you. Thanks to you, the future is safe from you.”

“Is there anything I can do from the past to stop the rise of the WarMachines?” you wonder.

“Well, there is one thing,” green-scalped you smiles. “Say ‘hi’ to Vinny for me.”

You enjoyed your birthday sandwich, but forgot to say “hi” to Vinny. In order to fix your grave mistake, you spend the next three decades inventing time travel and win the Nobel Prize.

THE END